Russia Is So Desperate To Do Steroids That They're Reinventing How They Cheat

Entire World: Please stop cheating at everything

Putin:

(Source)–Russian hackers are targeting anti-doping organizations after the country was banned from the 2020 Olympics, according to a new report.

Microsoft said this week that it has been tracking cyberattacks from a group known to be linked to Russia, known as Strontium, aka Fancy Bear/APT28. The group is targeting anti-doping organizations prior to the Tokyo Summer Games in 2020, the tech company said in a blog post.

Redmond, Wa.-based Microsoft added that governments around the world and the private sector need to be “transparent about nation-state activity” in order to protect the internet.

Russians love steroids. It’s just part of their culture. Stroganoff in their bellies, vodka down their throat, and needles in their ass. Those things are pillars of Russian way of life along with putting gays in the gulags and murdering journalists. It’s been that way since steroids were invented and since Rocky Balboa won the Cold War

Things have been getting harder for Russia and steroids though. The entire Russian U18 Hockey Federation was suspended, the Russians were banned from the last winter olympics in Korea, that Netflix documentary Icarus was pretty damning. Russia just can’t cheat like they used to. They keep getting caught. The system is beating them. But as the old Russian saying goes “if you can’t beat the system, then fuck it up from the inside with a revolution”. And that is exactly what Russia is doing now. If you can no long pass the drug test, you better be able to fuck with the tester. Quickest way to beat anti-doping agents is to release their search history, apparently. Just hack the shit out their lives until Russian piss tests come out clean. Incredible.